apology to america

 

part 1

 

i once as a feverish

young man

grabbed the last bus out of town

and saw the twinkling lights

of smallburg american

skeptical future

and furrowed in

sweat brow

disclaimed the actual

if not real

american

dream spinning forth

out of control

in tender shoots

of forming

of birthing

of learning

and so sallied about

the darkash of dead skys

in the smog of

perfect chaos

and choked out a sad song

of wailing grief

angry

disillusioned

blinded by

my blindness

 

oh america

you are what

you are

i bring forth to your parlor

the dried flowers

that i cast away so many

decades ago

in the almost too dark

time when the last honest

tribute to your

beauty

had lain bleeding on the

stark hills of korea

and in the bloody presidential

street massacre of

dallas

and

in a hundred other places

where common enough whipped people

cowered in the truth

that i thought

you ignored

 

part 2

 

america america

i will tell you

where your father is

he lies mouldering

beneath the ash and humus

of a thousand final

graves

in europe and

asia

 

america america

i will tell you

where your mother is

she sits pining in the

birthing chambers of

a new dawn

midwife and

mother

to democracy

in europe and

asia

 

oh america

i stand sorrowful

in the shadow of time

dwarfed by the spectacle

that has whirled about me

as i watched you

bend over your tired work

your endurance baffling

your beauty still

etched upon your face

and like a bronze maiden

standing in a harbor

i once watched you recede

like her torch hand high

against the fog of new york

idle ignorance

having seen you so often

i saw you not

saw her not

and when you disappeared

from view

against the nothingness of large

ocean

i wept inside

not for your face

but for your touch

not for your satin robe

but for your voice

not for your smile

but for your womb

 

part 3

 

the mysteries of

america

have been revealed

by the universe

under the starry skies that

spread troubled over a world

seething

in the caldron

of ever changing

blood

and

tears

collected for the millennia

that man has tried

to be an

angel

 

she has been ennobled by circumstance

even as

she has been wronged by the rough hands of greed

 

she has been vindicated by time

even as

she has been preyed upon by the thugs of opportunity

 

she walks freely in the breeze of goodness

even as

she has been sullied by the bulging of mans powerlust

 

america waits by the roadside

for the long trucker to pass

she sits in the beer joint

awaiting also

for the neon sign to flash off

she lays prostrate before the alters

of a thousand church sanctuaries

she smiles into the mirrors

of a million early morning bathrooms

she sits atop the standards

of countless benign flagpoles

and she wanders the lost roads

of an amazing continent

 

i offer my apology to america

as i offer it to myself

and to the gentlegods

who turn and sway

as i in windy vagaries

change my direction

and wander under her

smile of love

                    ketchum id mar 94

 

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