as i sit alone

            the veil of the universe is dragged

across my face

    i can feel the texture

        i can smell the musty oldness

                i can hear it softly murmur

          even through

        the ringing in my ears

 

                                what messenger do i seek

                    what song does my weary senses strain to hear

                                how can i know the thing that is barely sensed

                                        amid the billions of small sounds

                                and amid the wails of the dastardly and garish

 

                    i look out through the gathering mist

                            beyond the blindness of vaporous curtain

                                    i look beyond the cloth of old time and circumstance

                                            i shout into the night across the cold air

                                                    as i have shouted to the hidden and the impossible

                                                                for the decades of my life

                                                                    i cannot shout more

                                                                    i cannot sense more

                                                                    i cannot know more

 

                    i am smaller than the atom wandering the ether of

                    the cosmos in awful vacuum unthought

                            and i am left to be shunted and caromed

                                    to nether worlds i never imagined

                        because it is beyond my ken

                    the knowing and the sensing

                                           that atoms collide and release

                                                energy that never was

                                                        and then

                                                    just as suddenly

                                                                is

                                                                                        boise nov 23 2003

 

 

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