as i sit alone
the veil of the universe is dragged
across my face
i can feel the texture
i can smell the musty oldness
i can hear it softly murmur
even through
the ringing in my ears
what messenger do i seek
what song does my weary senses strain to hear
how can i know the thing that is barely sensed
amid the billions of small sounds
and amid the wails of the dastardly and garish
i look out through the gathering mist
beyond the blindness of vaporous curtain
i look beyond the cloth of old time and circumstance
i shout into the night across the cold air
as i have shouted to the hidden and the impossible
for the decades of my life
i cannot shout more
i cannot sense more
i cannot know more
i am smaller than the atom wandering the ether of
the cosmos in awful vacuum unthought
and i am left to be shunted and caromed
to nether worlds i never imagined
because it is beyond my ken
the knowing and the sensing
that atoms collide and release
energy that never was
and then
just as suddenly
is
boise nov 23 2003
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